Into my ear

Have you ever listened to the band Radiohead?

I have been listening to them all day. Their music is so intense, like a call to war. When I listen to them it makes me want to act, DO something, BE something. It makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs that we are all sleeping, that we all need to awake from our dreams of perfection. We live in a broken world. Why pretend any differently? I know I’m broken. I know you’re broken. We are all broken.

            I was sitting in chapel today (I go to a Christian school) being preached at about how I should believe in God. This man was shouting at us about not letting our peer’s pressure us into turning away from God and all I could think about was how he in the same way was pressuring us into believing in him. At the end of his speech he told every one who believed in God to stand up. I was one of the few to stay seated. I wonder. How many of those kids really meant it? How many kids just wanted to fit in? How many kids in this so-called Christian school are just walking through the movements of their lives?

I use to be one of them. I use to sing in church and chapel. I use to close my eyes and pray. I use to pretend like the best of them. I finally realized that I was just asleep. I had to wake up. Fuck all the people telling you what you need to be. Fuck all the people telling you who you are. FUCK all the people who are trying to hold you back.

I want to SCREAM this from ever molecule in my body!

…I am getting so broken-up over this…Damn this music is so intense…it creeps into my ear and takes over my brain…this call to awake is so strong I might explode.