Future

do you remember that night

when we laid in your closet

and didn't say a word for so long

we just stared into each other's eyes

until you said so surprised

that you could see my eyes breath

 

you enchanted me

now every time i see you i get that feeling

the one that makes your stomach flip

 

do you know that before i met you

I had no idea what i wanted

maybe to go to college and become

nothing, just a brainless sheep

doing what i was told

 

do you remember that first time we really talked

i listened to you say imposable things

about running away and leaving the world we knew

behind

they came pouring from such an normal looking mouth

and then i realized you are insane

but I liked it

 

do you remember all that planing we did

all the discussions of what to bring

and where we would stay

and how eventually all the talk of running away

became so much more beautiful

and so much less ill conserved

and we started talking of the way it should be

and how everything needs air

even our eyes

 

so that we can see

 

now we are so close

we can nearly hear the wind singing

we can nearly feel those green fields

and you are reaching your hands out

and brushing the fields

and tasting the salt in the wind

 

but I'm so scared

and I don't know why

and I keep repeating the same thing

over and over

and i think now

you were never insane

but I might be

blehadklcvne

I lay on that cold floor

hard wood presses me

and i reach down to lick it

 

it tastes like earwax

that gross taste

but even that is comforting

 

anything to anchor me down

to keep me in this dimension

and give me a little sanity

 

I can still hear people talking

I want them, no, need them

to be quiet

 

My heads still pounding

and I cant think straight

all my thoughts are trickling

 

out of my head like

buzzing pancake syrup

onto the wood

 

i forgot to turn off my light

and now its screaming at me

and I cant make my body move

 

and all i want is a cool glass of water

but i cant move

so I just lay there

The Other Jeans

We have the same eyes

the same thick un-tamable hair

the same quick tempers

and unspoken words

 

We have the same skin

and laugh lines

and large hips

and milk allergies

 

and every time i see you

I wonder if I have the same

future as well

 

do I have your marriage problems

your communication problems

when I'm older will my children

be scared of me too

 

will they leave in a car crying

like we did

will I scream at my sister

till my voice in raw

 

and will I cry every night for

a different life

Teenage Angst

squirm and fight

take the garbage out

frown at all the fruit flies

and pretend they don't exist

in our shitty houses

in our shitty town

 

let follow the train tracks

to that messy little bridge

and smash it with our hammers

you can come every time you get mad

i tell you

but inside i hope not at night

cause your too pretty to get hurt

and your so manly you might try

Rooster

Rooster all your bracelets fit you right

they don't slid off of that white arm

and they layer so nice all mismatched together

all the blues and greens and reds and yellows

sparkle in the light

and the one I knit you isn't too tight

 

my wrists are nearly bear

just the scrap of fabric I use in my hair

and a few white scars that sit nearly still

and I tell you all those bracelets are wonder filled

and you say in a high voice that you know

 

and there is that one that keeps falling off

a little elastic one, thin and mostly yellow

and I say its so beautiful

and you give it to me

and I say I'll never take it off

but it falls off in my sleep