I saw him at the gas station At least I think it was him
He looked tall and awkward
Like he just wasn’t sure
If he was really meant to be there
Swaying slightly as he stood there
I wanted to yell his name
I think he was leaving today
I wanted to yell his name
But I couldn’t move
I wanted to say a simple hello
And I couldn’t do a thing
And I watched him drive away
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Plain
Her smile is a whisper and her words a monologue
When she walks it’s never in high heals
Always in flats
Black
And new
No stains
Or slip ups
Folded laundry from the back line
Always nice and mannerly
And when He looks at her
It’s always right through
Her teacup stained fingers aren’t right for him
No room for bed sheets and tables
No room for messy hair
All is kept row in row
Kept slightly wavy
But not too much so
And when she watches him in the check-out isle
She never lets her mind wander
Don’t be indecent girl
When she walks it’s never in high heals
Always in flats
Black
And new
No stains
Or slip ups
Folded laundry from the back line
Always nice and mannerly
And when He looks at her
It’s always right through
Her teacup stained fingers aren’t right for him
No room for bed sheets and tables
No room for messy hair
All is kept row in row
Kept slightly wavy
But not too much so
And when she watches him in the check-out isle
She never lets her mind wander
Don’t be indecent girl
Thursday, January 5, 2012
For my religion class
For my religion class we have a project that involves talking in front of the class about your religious views and my teacher gave me 2 days to prepare... I baked two pies for it, why you ask? because Pie makes everything good, even a shit speech. I also wrote an OK speech and did (most) of the rest of my home work and lived through my grandfather and little sister fighting about politics. Kinda productive day except that i didn't sew or draw. I now need to go to bed. I will write something better tomorrow... or the next night. good night.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Blueberry Lemonade
Blueberry lemonade swirls in my head
and snow tugging at my figure tips.
An elementary play ground
and that swing set that’s too small for him.
The dog that’s so cute walking his man around the park,
circle after circle.
Teeth chatter and we tell little stories
about elementary school moments
and high school hits and
little sisters.
We find ourselves wandering circles in gaslight
speaking nonsense about nonsense
and about getting high.
A smile and white teeth
and he tells me about a slip on the ice
that almost lost him one white one.
We talk about girls who drink too much
and teaching
and power.
And when he brings me home
awkward arms
touch
awkward arms
and I stumble into the house.
and snow tugging at my figure tips.
An elementary play ground
and that swing set that’s too small for him.
The dog that’s so cute walking his man around the park,
circle after circle.
Teeth chatter and we tell little stories
about elementary school moments
and high school hits and
little sisters.
We find ourselves wandering circles in gaslight
speaking nonsense about nonsense
and about getting high.
A smile and white teeth
and he tells me about a slip on the ice
that almost lost him one white one.
We talk about girls who drink too much
and teaching
and power.
And when he brings me home
awkward arms
touch
awkward arms
and I stumble into the house.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
tomorrow I go back...
I go back to school tomorrow but all I want to do is sleep. That school is joyless and painful. One of my friends made the wise comment that our school is like a dementor, it sucks the happiness out of you. i don't was to go back to that dullness. A little more then half a school year and I'll be done. I'm telling my self that over and over, 'just a little more', but if feels like an eternity. I'm too young to feel this choked. I want to be happy and having adventures in the sunshine, but I'm stuck in fluorescent hell... Most of this shit I don't need to know anyways... and I still haven't finished my AP Stats home work...
Monday, January 2, 2012
Plastic and Poppy Red
So this is the second day of my new resolve I'm honestly proud i made it this far. I have been working on this poem for a couple months now and I cant finish it so i am just going to post it and be done for now.
“I was a teenager once”, you always remind us
Like it’s something glorious or relevant
Like it changes the playing field
From us vs. you, to flowers and butterflies
And ‘Let’s all get along’ songs
Like we couldn’t comprehend that you were ever young
That you might understand what it’s like to feel this lost
When everyone is talking so loud
About the girl who just sucked them off
Or that guy, who’s just so cute you want to barf
And we paste those superficial smiles on in the morning
And paint up sex eyes in the evening
And wash it all off when we go to bed
So that our pillows aren’t stained that poppy red
And that girl I knew
The one with her hair done up in curls
Is sitting on that too straight chair
Trying to remember what got her there
Between the blur of cars, people, coffee makers and drug dispensers
She can’t seem to recall
And the waves of blue and green make little whirlpools at her feet
Splashing tattoos and toe rings up her ankles
And all those kids pick stars out of the air
They pop them in their mouths like the next high
But they don’t slid down so smooth
They burn and come up in the mix of bile and bullshit their
Parents, teachers, preachers, and politicians mixed them
Like a cup of warm milk to send them off to bed, tucked tight
With their next fuck
Trying to stay upright
As the world spins so fast
And the beds bounce too high
Till they are sailing in the sky
With all those uneatable star
So scared in the limelight
They turn back to those bottles of nerves
Just one more and I’ll be good
Just one more and I’ll be numb to all that laughter
And the little boy down the street
The one that use to play all those innocent games with me
And scream so loud
Has curbed his rage into another kind of hit
The ones you let off in smoke rings
In a cry up to heaven
Saying “SOS, please God help me”
So we all curl up in our beds at night
With the blankets pulled around supper tight
And our feet pulled up to our chests
Hoping those under-bed monsters won’t finally catch up to us
And so you ask if we’re all right
And you say it in that ‘I’ve been there’ way
So we smile like our cheeks are your figure puppets
Saying ‘every things just dandy’
When every things not “just Dandy”
And can you really expect it to be “Dandy”
When our country is rotting from the top down
The politicians don’t even have the decency to recycle
They just throw all this shit at our feet
Till the mountain of social and economical injustice
Has us waste deep
Climbing still
So they say “Lets send it up in space
And let it waste with the stars we stole from
All those cradle eyes
Blind to the way America works”
Self for self
Step on all those toes
Till you’re are the only one left on the road
Pointed straight down to hell
Spinning out of control
Babies bounce around your head
Yelling swearwords like breast milk
And it seems
Innocence is growing scarcer each scene
Till we are smearing poppy red face paint
all over little four year olds
Telling them they aren’t pretty enough
“Let’s fix that
Too fat
Too boyish
Too flat”
Till all that’s left is plastic
And I don’t want to be plastic anymore
You keep saying I understand
I understand
I understand
Like repetition makes perfect
You spew words like meanings
And pretend to care
But you don’t
And you never will
So stop all this pretending
“I was a teenager once”, you always remind us
Like it’s something glorious or relevant
Like it changes the playing field
From us vs. you, to flowers and butterflies
And ‘Let’s all get along’ songs
Like we couldn’t comprehend that you were ever young
That you might understand what it’s like to feel this lost
When everyone is talking so loud
About the girl who just sucked them off
Or that guy, who’s just so cute you want to barf
And we paste those superficial smiles on in the morning
And paint up sex eyes in the evening
And wash it all off when we go to bed
So that our pillows aren’t stained that poppy red
And that girl I knew
The one with her hair done up in curls
Is sitting on that too straight chair
Trying to remember what got her there
Between the blur of cars, people, coffee makers and drug dispensers
She can’t seem to recall
And the waves of blue and green make little whirlpools at her feet
Splashing tattoos and toe rings up her ankles
And all those kids pick stars out of the air
They pop them in their mouths like the next high
But they don’t slid down so smooth
They burn and come up in the mix of bile and bullshit their
Parents, teachers, preachers, and politicians mixed them
Like a cup of warm milk to send them off to bed, tucked tight
With their next fuck
Trying to stay upright
As the world spins so fast
And the beds bounce too high
Till they are sailing in the sky
With all those uneatable star
So scared in the limelight
They turn back to those bottles of nerves
Just one more and I’ll be good
Just one more and I’ll be numb to all that laughter
And the little boy down the street
The one that use to play all those innocent games with me
And scream so loud
Has curbed his rage into another kind of hit
The ones you let off in smoke rings
In a cry up to heaven
Saying “SOS, please God help me”
So we all curl up in our beds at night
With the blankets pulled around supper tight
And our feet pulled up to our chests
Hoping those under-bed monsters won’t finally catch up to us
And so you ask if we’re all right
And you say it in that ‘I’ve been there’ way
So we smile like our cheeks are your figure puppets
Saying ‘every things just dandy’
When every things not “just Dandy”
And can you really expect it to be “Dandy”
When our country is rotting from the top down
The politicians don’t even have the decency to recycle
They just throw all this shit at our feet
Till the mountain of social and economical injustice
Has us waste deep
Climbing still
So they say “Lets send it up in space
And let it waste with the stars we stole from
All those cradle eyes
Blind to the way America works”
Self for self
Step on all those toes
Till you’re are the only one left on the road
Pointed straight down to hell
Spinning out of control
Babies bounce around your head
Yelling swearwords like breast milk
And it seems
Innocence is growing scarcer each scene
Till we are smearing poppy red face paint
all over little four year olds
Telling them they aren’t pretty enough
“Let’s fix that
Too fat
Too boyish
Too flat”
Till all that’s left is plastic
And I don’t want to be plastic anymore
You keep saying I understand
I understand
I understand
Like repetition makes perfect
You spew words like meanings
And pretend to care
But you don’t
And you never will
So stop all this pretending
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Years
For the new year i am going to post something everyday. I will try to keep to this my very best and the writing might suck anyways but the thought is what counts. So to start off a something-or-what-ever about my strange new years eve.
New year
Yesterday led into today with a drop
A new year
A new moment
A new chance
And I spent it with a stranger
We stood together having only met a few hours earlier
Him drunk
Me sober but wishing I was drunk
We are in a crowd of people all screaming
And the ball drops
I kiss him on the cheek
Just a friendly kiss
One to welcome in the next year
A little hello
With maybe a hint of hope
And we flirt slightly as we attempt to find our friends
And my hands are cold and his look comfy
But I don’t dare ask
Because too many risks have been taken already
But we hug good night and a happy new year
And he drives off
With a billboard for his theme song
So as I sink down into my bed
This stranger just keeps spinning in my head
And I hope this will be a good new year
New year
Yesterday led into today with a drop
A new year
A new moment
A new chance
And I spent it with a stranger
We stood together having only met a few hours earlier
Him drunk
Me sober but wishing I was drunk
We are in a crowd of people all screaming
And the ball drops
I kiss him on the cheek
Just a friendly kiss
One to welcome in the next year
A little hello
With maybe a hint of hope
And we flirt slightly as we attempt to find our friends
And my hands are cold and his look comfy
But I don’t dare ask
Because too many risks have been taken already
But we hug good night and a happy new year
And he drives off
With a billboard for his theme song
So as I sink down into my bed
This stranger just keeps spinning in my head
And I hope this will be a good new year
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