Playground Nights

My fingers twitch in rhythm

One two three

One two three

One two three four

Like playing the air

And I can hear the music

Of all these voices

And the squeak of the swings

And we sit so still on that

Playground structure

So absent of children

In the summer nights

And we barely touch

Just our little pinkies

But we are so close

Entwined in a way

I’ve never known

Like God stitched

Our hearts together

Like you stitched together all

Those patches on your hole-less jeans

And I need you here

More then I need air to breathe

More then I need food to eat

And I want to follow you

Like that day you went

To find that alien light

Dancing gold rain above us

And we walked and walked

And finally we gave in

And laid on the little merry-go-round

In the middle of this playground

And watched the stars

Paint white daydream light

In our minds

And it was so warm

We could have slept there

But we went home instead

But for that glorious moment

You held my hand

And the stars exploded

In my stomach

And ate a pathway to my soul

The Little Voices

Words irritate and caress me

Falling from those too hot lips

They sing like hot honey tea

But they sting like an angry bee

They keep saying

That all my sidewalk chalk days

Are over

That the dreams I keep

In that blue floral patterned pocket

I stitched like a secret

Into my sweat shirt

Will never come true

That my chain smoking brother

Won’t ever quit

Not even when his lungs turn

City street black

And he falls back back back

And he will sit in my mind

As a sick old man

Dragging a respirator filled

With yellow liquid around

And he will die the week after Easter

And that will be what my children

Remember him by

Not the so absorbed piano player

That doesn’t react

When you tap tap tap

His shoulder

And it takes

Five minutes

Just to get him to answer

“How much ice do you want?”

And I cant stand to listen to

All of this truth

So I just stay cooped up inside

Hopping its all a lie

And I stay all alone

Scared to move an inch

Till I’m a wrinkle in a

Dust filled house

With too many cats

And all those Rooster collored dreams

Didn’t rise with the sun

They stayed stashed with my photographs

In the whom of this house

Filled with spiders and mice

In its un-use

And someday I’ll go to the very back

In the corner

Behind the old chest

And the china set I never used

And take out all those dreams

I’ll wash them in the sink

Till they shine almost new

And I’ll slid them down my throat

And let them sit in my stomach

And I’ll wonder why I

Ever let these voices tell me off

Future

do you remember that night

when we laid in your closet

and didn't say a word for so long

we just stared into each other's eyes

until you said so surprised

that you could see my eyes breath

 

you enchanted me

now every time i see you i get that feeling

the one that makes your stomach flip

 

do you know that before i met you

I had no idea what i wanted

maybe to go to college and become

nothing, just a brainless sheep

doing what i was told

 

do you remember that first time we really talked

i listened to you say imposable things

about running away and leaving the world we knew

behind

they came pouring from such an normal looking mouth

and then i realized you are insane

but I liked it

 

do you remember all that planing we did

all the discussions of what to bring

and where we would stay

and how eventually all the talk of running away

became so much more beautiful

and so much less ill conserved

and we started talking of the way it should be

and how everything needs air

even our eyes

 

so that we can see

 

now we are so close

we can nearly hear the wind singing

we can nearly feel those green fields

and you are reaching your hands out

and brushing the fields

and tasting the salt in the wind

 

but I'm so scared

and I don't know why

and I keep repeating the same thing

over and over

and i think now

you were never insane

but I might be

blehadklcvne

I lay on that cold floor

hard wood presses me

and i reach down to lick it

 

it tastes like earwax

that gross taste

but even that is comforting

 

anything to anchor me down

to keep me in this dimension

and give me a little sanity

 

I can still hear people talking

I want them, no, need them

to be quiet

 

My heads still pounding

and I cant think straight

all my thoughts are trickling

 

out of my head like

buzzing pancake syrup

onto the wood

 

i forgot to turn off my light

and now its screaming at me

and I cant make my body move

 

and all i want is a cool glass of water

but i cant move

so I just lay there

The Other Jeans

We have the same eyes

the same thick un-tamable hair

the same quick tempers

and unspoken words

 

We have the same skin

and laugh lines

and large hips

and milk allergies

 

and every time i see you

I wonder if I have the same

future as well

 

do I have your marriage problems

your communication problems

when I'm older will my children

be scared of me too

 

will they leave in a car crying

like we did

will I scream at my sister

till my voice in raw

 

and will I cry every night for

a different life

Teenage Angst

squirm and fight

take the garbage out

frown at all the fruit flies

and pretend they don't exist

in our shitty houses

in our shitty town

 

let follow the train tracks

to that messy little bridge

and smash it with our hammers

you can come every time you get mad

i tell you

but inside i hope not at night

cause your too pretty to get hurt

and your so manly you might try

Rooster

Rooster all your bracelets fit you right

they don't slid off of that white arm

and they layer so nice all mismatched together

all the blues and greens and reds and yellows

sparkle in the light

and the one I knit you isn't too tight

 

my wrists are nearly bear

just the scrap of fabric I use in my hair

and a few white scars that sit nearly still

and I tell you all those bracelets are wonder filled

and you say in a high voice that you know

 

and there is that one that keeps falling off

a little elastic one, thin and mostly yellow

and I say its so beautiful

and you give it to me

and I say I'll never take it off

but it falls off in my sleep